Not Pregnant

I wanted to let you know that I received my results today and I am not pregnant. I am sad of course, but I know I will get through it. I was praying about the outcome Monday and asked God to prepare my heart if it was negative....which He did. I actually got the feeling that He brought me through this experience so that I would know that I tried everything I could before moving on to adoption...which is what I really felt led to do a couple of years ago. I feel that this confirms that the feeling I had was from God and I feel good about that. I know we can't begin that process yet (for financial reasons), but at least I still have hope that someday I WILL be a mommy. Thanks again for all your support and prayers.

Love you,
Lisa

Waiting

Well, today has been the longest wait for my blood test results. I thought this last week was difficult....today has been 100 times worse! You would think that they would know that women want to find out as soon as possible what the results are and that they would expedite the lab work. Nope....I'm still waiting. And I bet they will make me wait up until the deadline of 4pm when they have to call me. It gets pretty frustrating.

Anyways....just wanted to let you know that I am still waiting for the results....

Love
Lisa

Tomorrow is the big day

Hi,

Tomorrow morning I go in for my first beta (pregnancy test using bloodwork). I will find out in the afternoon sometime what the results are. Either I'll be pregnant or not...I'm ready for either outcome I think.

I have done a lot of praying this past week. I've had days that I felt like "This is it...it's going to work". I've also had days of doubt where I don't think it will work. Yesterday was one of those days. A friend of mine could feel that in her spirit and came over to talk to me and encourage me. During that time, God revealed something to me. I still don't know what the outcome will be, but I do know that whatever it is, I will know where He is leading me. I don't want to tell you what was revealed just yet because I haven't talked to my husband about it...and that wouldn't be fair to him. But, I will let you know tomorrow what the result is. Thanks again for all your prayers. This journey couldn't have been done so smoothly without them.

Love
Lisa

4 Days Past Transfer....

Hi,

Well, it is the 4th day past my transfer. I've had mixed feelings all these days and when I start thinking negative (like this isn't going to work), that is when I take time to pray again and ask God to handle this for me. This is the hardest part...the waiting game. During this wait, I have also been "researching" what happens while the embryo is floating around inside my uterus. This is something I found ("dpt" stands for days past transfer):

1dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
2dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
3dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
4dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
5dpt.. Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
6dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
7dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
8dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
9dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on home pregnancy test

So according to this, at least one of the embryos should be burying itself into my uterine lining today. I think I can "give or take" one day. I say this because Tuesday I could feel little twinges in my uterus and then yesterday I was feeling it all day long (off and on)! Now...see, this is the problem....is my mind playing tricks on me? Or am I really feeling this? The waiting is so hard...

I've been taking things easy, like the doctor said. I haven't lifted anything heavy (like laundry, darn!) or exercised like I normally do. Walking is ok, so I took a nice walk today at lunch with a couple friends. So, basically, I am just trying to stay busy at work so I can keep my mind off of this wait.

Thanks again for all your prayers.

God bless,
Lisa

Update

Hi,

I had my embryo transfer on Sunday morning and then was on bed rest until today. I am back to work and trying to keep my mind busy. They transferred 2 embryos back to me and now I am just praying that at least one attaches and I'll be pregnant. I have to wait until July 30th, then I will go in for a blood test to see if I'm pregnant. It's only a week's wait...but this will probably be the longest week of my life. The doctor called me on Monday and told me that the rest of the embryo's were not good enough to freeze, so I wasn't able to freeze any. I have faith that God is handling all of this and that this happened because He is going to make this work. However, if that is not the case, then I will just need to have peace that He knows best and it just isn't my time yet. Giving up control...actually, not having any control to begin with, has been very tough for me. But, I have learned to deal with it day by day...hour by hour...minute by minute :-) Please continue to pray for me and that God's will be done.

God bless,
Lisa

Egg transfer scheduled for Sunday!!

Hi,

Tomorrow they will be transferring the embryo's back to me. I don't know how many they will be doing, but they did say it will be 1-2. Since I had enough fertilized eggs, they decided to do a 5 day transfer; as opposed to a 3 day. Everything I have read has said that a 5 day is usually more successful because it is more natural of an occurrence. For example, in a "normal" cycle the woman's egg would still be in the fallopian tube on day 3 (after fertilization). On day 5-6 it turns into a blastocyst embryo and moves into the uterus. That is when it finds the uterine wall and "snuggles" in. :-) So, since they are putting the blastocyst back in me on the 5th day, there is more of a chance that it knows what to do. Ha! Sorry for all the scientific stuff...it just fascinates me. (also, that was for you Kristen!!)

So, anyway, tomorrow at 7am they will be transferring back to me. They did say that Jesús could be in the room while they do it...so that is nice. After that, I have to be on complete bed rest tomorrow and Monday. Then Tuesday I can return to work. What I gather is that gives the embryo time to attach on Sunday or Monday and if it doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be.

Well, that is all for now. I'm not sure if I will be able to post tomorrow or not, so if anything, I will post again on Tuesday.

God bless,
Lisa

Results from egg transfer

Hi,

I found out today that out of the 17 eggs that they collected from me, 11 were mature, and 6 ended up being fertilized. So, I have 6 embryos! They will be returning 1 or 2 embryos back to me on Sunday and I will be freezing the rest. I am very excited that I have so many to work with. :-)

I am feeling pretty well. I am still a little sore and bloated, but it is getting better. Sorry this is kind of a short update...but that is all that has happened so far. :-)

Take care,
Lisa

Egg Retrieval was today

Hi,

I had my egg retrieval today. They were able to get 17 eggs! I will find out tomorrow how many were fertilized and what day they will be transferring them (only 1-2) back. They are thinking that it will be a 5 day transfer, which means it will happen on Sunday. I am on bed rest today and am feeling pretty good. Just a little sore, but that is normal. I will let you know what I find out tomorrow.

Love
Lisa

Egg retrieval scheduled for Tuesday!

Hi! The nurse called me yesterday afternoon to let me know that I was scheduled for egg retrieval on Tuesday at 7am. Last night I had to take the HCG trigger shot (which is a huge needle) and it had to be in my "gluteus maximus" so Jesús had to give it to me. He was a little nervous, but he's a trooper and was able to do it. I was very proud of him. :-) The shot didn't hurt last night, but today my muscle is hurting...but that is normal.

My mom is driving in today with my nieces (Brooke-Lynn, Summer, and Sierra) so that she can help me this week since I'll have to be on bed rest. I am so thankful for that....it will be a huge load off of me.

Well, I think that is it. As always, I'll keep you posted...probably not until Wednesday. I'll be finding out how many eggs were fertilized and what day they will be transferring them back to me. Again, thanks for all your prayers...

Love
Lisa

More updates from appointments

Hi,

Sorry it's been awhile...there's been alot happening the past few days. My E2 levels were sky-rocketing so they decided to take me off the stimulation medication. So Friday and Saturday I didn't take anything. Also, I've had to go in everyday for an ultrasound and bloodwork to check my E2 levels. Yesterday I finally received some good news...my E2 level only went up by 500. The previous 2 days it went up at least 775 per day. So, that was good news. I am still waiting on the results from today's appointment. They said I might have to take the HCG trigger shot today...which means that egg retrieval will be on Tuesday! Just so you know, that shot makes the eggs know that it is time to ovulate...and they retrieve the eggs right before they break free from the follicles...which is always 36-38 hours after the shot. :-) Pretty amazing, right?

So I have a treat for you....I asked the nurse today if I could have a picture of my ovaries with all the follicles. She said yes, so here it is..the top picture is my left ovary and the bottom is my right:Basically, all the circles are the follicles and inside the follicles are the eggs (which we can't see). For a normal cycle (no meds), there would only be 1-2 follicles that would get big and then when the brain triggers that it's time to ovulate, the biggest one will release the egg. But since I am on stimulation medication, that is why there are so many follicles developing. Well, I will try to update this again tonight after I find out the results of my appointment today. Have a great Sunday!

God bless,
Lisa

Yet another appointment today :-)

Wow...I've had a lot of appointments this last week. But, that is what it takes when you are on these medications. They called me last night and told me not to take any medications yesterday evening as well as this morning. They said that they didn't want to over-stimulate me and needed me to come in the next day (which is today). So, I didn't have to do any shots :-) Yay! My stomach gets a break...ha!!

So anyway, I went in today for an ultrasound and bloodwork. The ultrasound went really well. The follicles on my left ovary are developing a little bit faster than my right side. But the nurse said this is normal. On my left side I had 4 follicles that she measured. They were all between 11-12 millimeters in size. On my right side I had 3-4 that were between 10-11mm in size. She said this was very good that they are all so close to the same size. That means that they will be more healthy and better quality and have a better chance of surviving the retrieval and transfer :-) Also, she said my uterine lining looks perfect. It is 11mm thick which means it will be ready to receive the embryo when they transfer it back to me. I know these details may be confusing...so the bottom line is that I am responding good to the meds and everything is looking great! ;-)

Thanks for all your prayers...I feel them working :-)

Love
Lisa

IVF Update

Hi,

Well, the nurse called me back from my appointment today. She said that the ultrasound showed over 38 follicles!!! They were all still small (less than 10 millimeters), but my E2 (Estradiol) level is kind of high. It went from 322 on Monday to 1106 today. So...tonight I didn't have to take my shot and also tomorrow morning I am not going to take the shot either. In the morning I have to go back in for another ultrasound and they will check my E2 level again. Then from there they will determine what they want me to do. So, if you are praying for me, please pray that I don't over-stimulate...meaning that I don't have too many follicles where they have to cancel the whole cycle. I will update you tomorrow evening on what I find out from my appointment tomorrow.

Love
Lisa

Update on IVF Cycle

Hi!! I started the stimulation drugs on the 4th of July. So now I am giving myself two shots in the morning and one shot at night. The nurse said the most common spot to take the shot is in the stomach so I've been doing it there...alternating sides everyday. My stomach is starting to get a little sore and tender, but it will all be worth it in the end when I (God willing) get pregnant and have a baby.

I had an appointment on Monday. They did an ultrasound to see if the follicles (eggs) were growing and they are. They told me I was responding well to the medications so the lowered my dosage on the evening medication. I had another ultrasound today and some of the follicles were large enough for them to measure. There were about 4 of them on my left side that were large enough, and then I noticed there were about 3 on my right side that were still small. I will find out this evening what the next step is, but so far, it is looking like I will be doing the egg retrieval on the 15th of July! It's coming so fast!

Just so you know, emotionally I am doing very well. I was worried that I might get snappy and mean from the meds because that is what happened when I took the low-grade fertility med (clomid) last year. But, my mood really hasn't changed and I haven't had hardly any hot flashes like I did with clomid. The only thing I notice is that I am more quiet, but I think that is because I am thinking about all that is happening and am trying not to get too excited because I don't want to be too let down if it doesn't work. I know this is all God's doing and He knows if it will work...so I am at the point where I just want Him to handle it all. So I think that is why I've been more reserved about it...because I just want to leave it up to Him since I know I don't have any control. So anyway...that is where I am emotionally. I just want it to be the end of July so that I can know if it was successful or not :-)

I'll try to post again when I get the results from my appointment today.

God bless,
Lisa

Amazed

I just got back from having dinner with a couple that have become very dear friends to us. At the end of dinner we started talking about my IVF stuff and then they told us that they were expecting. I have to say, I am genuinely happy and feel so much joy for them. This is the first time I've felt this way since beginning my whole journey of infertility. I literally got goose bumps when they told me. I am so happy for them and they are going to make great parents! God has definitely worked on my heart and has transformed me. I have grown so much through all of this and I am amazed at what He has done in me. He is an awesome God and I know He will be blessing me with a child someday. I thank Him for all the support He has provided to me from my family and friends. Our God is an Awesome GOD!!!

Meds...

Ok...well, I start my meds on Friday the 4th. On the 7th I go in for another ultrasound. I am assuming that they will look at my follicles and see if they are developing on target. Then, after that appointment, they will tell me if I need to increase/decrease my dosage. Hopefully all will be going as planned and I will just stay at the same dosage. :-) The nurse told me that my estimated date of egg retrieval will be on the 15th! That is a lot sooner than I thought. Which is fine with me. If that is the case, then they will return the embryos either on the 17th or the 19th...depending how healthy they are. My mom is coming out those days to be with me since I have to be on bed rest the day of the procedure and the day after. So that will be a big help. I am excited for Monday to see what they say...I will keep you posted.

God bless,
Lisa